Choosing a Headstone or Grave Marker
A headstone or grave marker is the permanent memorial that identifies the deceased person's grave. It is a very important part of the burial process and a lasting tribute to a life. The process of choosing, designing, and ordering one takes time.
Types of Markers
Cemeteries often restrict the type of marker you can use. You must always check the cemetery's rules before ordering.
Upright Headstone This is the most traditional style. It is a stone tablet that stands vertically at the head of the grave. They allow for the most text and decoration.
Flat Marker Also called a lawn-level marker. This is a simple plaque that lies flat on the grass. These are required in many modern or memorial park cemeteries because they make mowing and maintenance easier. They are generally the least expensive option.
Slant Marker This is a compromise between the upright stone and the flat marker. The stone sits low to the ground but has a face cut at a sharp angle. This makes it easy to read when standing near it.
Coping or Curbing This involves creating a stone boundary or curb around the entire grave plot. It is less common today and is restricted in many modern cemeteries.
Material Choices
The material you choose affects the look, durability, and cost of the marker.
Granite This is the most popular material today. It is durable, comes in many colors, and is resistant to weathering. It is a good choice for longevity.
Bronze Bronze is primarily used for flat markers. It is poured into a mold, giving it a uniform look. Bronze plaques are often attached to a granite base for stability.
Marble Marble is beautiful but softer than granite. It weathers more easily, meaning inscriptions can fade over many years. It is less common now for outdoor markers.
Design and Inscription
The design of the headstone is a personal choice.
Inscription This includes the full name, birth date, and date of death. You can also add a short epitaph or quote. Common religious symbols, military emblems, or simple designs like flowers are often engraved. Always double check the spelling and dates before approving the final proof. Mistakes are very costly to fix.
Portraits Some markers allow for engraved photos or even porcelain photographs attached to the stone.
The Ordering Process
The process usually takes several months.
First, check the cemetery rules. You must get a permit or approval from the cemetery before you order. They confirm the size and type of marker is allowed.
Second, choose a monument dealer. Monument dealers specialize in making and installing headstones. They are separate from the funeral home.
Third, review and approve the design. The dealer will send a detailed drawing of the marker. Do not rush this step. Check every detail.
Fourth, installation. The dealer is responsible for setting the marker on the foundation. The foundation is the concrete base that holds the marker and prevents it from tipping.
The entire process from ordering to installation can take three to six months, especially if the stone is custom-made or if weather delays installation.